SELF-SABOTAGE
"I'm not good enough for that."
"Maybe I was overreacting."
"He's not so bad. He only abuses me when I annoy him"
Behaviors, actions, thoughts that undermines our own success or well-being. Self-fulfilling prophecy of failure, where our thoughts, feelings or beliefs become barriers to achieving our goals and lead to negative outcomes.
Self-sabotage is any behavior that indirectly or directly prevents an individual from achieving their goals.
It is usually a cycle in which an individual indulges in negative behaviors and is aware of the consequences but still continues the pattern
Procrastination, perfectionism, negative self-talk, self-doubt, fear of failure, and self-destructive behaviors like overeating, substance abuse, or risky behaviors are associated with self sabotage. These patterns don't just affect our physical health but can have a severe impact on our mental wellbeing as well.
Generally, an individual engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors will not take responsibility for their actions and may even blame others for their failures.
Self-sabotage affects both men and women, with women being more likely to engage in this behavior due to societal pressures and expectations. In fact, a study by Psychology Today revealed that women are more likely to feel the effects of self-sabotage through its impact on their mental health.
CAUSES OF SELF-SABOTAGE
The causes of self-sabotage are varied and can be attributed to several factors. One of the main factors is the individual's psychological makeup. Individuals with low self-esteem may engage in self-sabotage as they may not believe they are capable of achieving their desired goals. Additionally, some people may have unrealistic expectations which can trigger self-doubt and lead to self-sabotage. Perfectionism is also a common cause of self-sabotage, as an individual's fear of failing often results in them not even attempting to accomplish their goals.
EFFECTS OF SELF-SABOTAGE
Self-sabotage can have detrimental consequences on an individual's mental health. When an individual continuously engages in self-sabotage, it can lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. It can also cause a lack of trust in oneself and eventually lead to self-destructive behavior.
Self-sabotage appears to affect both decision-making processes and social interactions, and an inability to recognize and cope with self-sabotage can lead to chronic underachievement.
Individuals who engage in self-sabotage are more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, and a lack of control and self-confidence"
OVERCOMING SELF SABOTAGE
• Recognize and identify the sabotaging thoughts. Once the problem has been identified, it is important to address the underlying cause of the behavior. For example, if fear
of failure is causing the self-sabotage, it is important to recognize this and focus on addressing the underlying cause of the fear.
• Develop a positive mindset. Positive affirmations can help in combating negative self-talk and replacing it with positive self-talk. Surrounding oneself with supportive and encouraging people can
also help in developing a positive mindset and combating self-sabotage.
• Practice breath work every morning to calm the mind and nervous system.
Breathing exercises can help to reduce stress and anxiety, and calm the mind and nervous system. By doing this, you can gain more control over your thoughts and impulses, and be less likely to engage in self-sabotage. You can find many breathing exercises online, but the most basic way is to inhale deeply for a count of five, then exhale for a count of five. Repeat this for several minutes until you feel calmer.
• Journal about your future self and read it when negative thoughts loop up.
Journaling about your future self can be a powerful way to stay motivated and focused on your goals. When negative thoughts or self-sabotaging behaviors arise, it can be helpful to read your journal entries to remind yourself of why you are working toward those goals. Write about the person you want to be, how you will feel when you have accomplished your goals, and all of the positive changes that will come with it.
• Start practicing self-compassion.
Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a good friend. When you are self-sabotaging, it often comes from a place of self-criticism and harsh judgment. By practicing self-compassion, you can break this cycle and learn to be kinder to yourself. This can involve things like talking to yourself in a gentle and encouraging way, taking time for self-care, and forgiving yourself for mistakes.
• Get rid of perfectionism.
Perfectionism is often a root cause of self-sabotaging behaviors. When you set impossibly high standards for yourself, you are more likely to fail, and then engage in self-blame and self-criticism. By letting go of perfectionism and embracing a growth mindset, you can acknowledge that mistakes and failures are a natural part of the learning process. This can help you to be more resilient and less likely to engage in self-sabotage.
• Surround yourself with supportive people.
The people you surround yourself with can have a significant impact on your mindset and behaviors. Surrounding yourself with supportive people who understand your goals and believe in you can be a powerful way to stay motivated and positive. It can also be helpful to seek out people who have overcome similar challenges or have a positive mindset that you can learn from. By building a strong support network, you can be less likely to engage in self-sabotage.
It is important to recognize that self-sabotage is not permanent and that with the right tools and support, it can be overcome.